The Diapering of Dante

"Here one must leave behind all hesitation;

here every cowardice must meet its death."
~Dante Alighieri: The Inferno, Canto III, lines 14-15

 

Welcome to my blog, "From Dante to Diapers." Within this rather limited sphere I plan to discuss everything concerning me, and quite honestly, that involves everything from the medieval poet Dante Alighieri to the joyous task of changing diapers. You see dear reader; this blog is meant to be my outlet, a place where I can spew forth my driving need to discuss philosophy and history in combination with the pros and cons of early potty training. Random you say? Perhaps, or maybe it is simply a unique twist of genius?

 

I cannot guarantee what you will find here, but I can assure you that it will be exactly what I want it to be! The quotation featured at the beginning of this post is fairly self-explanatory; it is a beautiful quote penned by the magnificent Dante over eight centuries ago. I have made it my motto and it is my way of stating that it is here that I will abandon all fears of rejection and self-doubt. I was born to write, what exactly I was meant to write is still my quest. Hopefully this blog will help me find my very own holy grail. So move over Sir Galahad, your chivalrous glow has been disparaged, this is my story and I intend to write it. To death with cowardice! So, without further ado, I will begin.

 

Perhaps some are wondering what a 13th century Italian poet has to do with diapers, or diapering for that matter. I dare say there may even be some who have no idea who Dante Alighieri is, if you fall within that category please do not be dissuaded, you will leave here wiser if you so choose. However, I do not intend to write an essay on the life of Dante, so if you wish to learn more about him you can read about his illustrious and influential career here.

 

Before I can go on, I must address the title of this post, “The Diapering of Dante.” At first glance this title probably appears pretty lewd; however, please recognize that I have no intention of hypothetically restraining one of the world’s greatest authors and strapping a Pooh bear Huggies on him. (FYI…my imagination is teeming with ways to continue this gross nightmare, but I will spare you the details of my morbid sense of humor!) No, it is a different sort of diapering of which I speak, a “diapering”in the Heraldric sense. And just to prove it, here is the alternate dictionary definition of “diapering.”

 

Diapering: In Heraldry, Diapering (from an old term for damask) is a technique in which those who draw achievements of arms attempt to decorate large areas of flat color by drawing crosshatches or arabesques. There is no standard, and each artist is allowed his own idiosyncrasies. ~Reference

 

Thus, the post title simply denotes my intention to draw attention to the achievements of Dante Alighieri, and I am free to do so according to my own standard and idiosyncrasies! Touché!

 

I could bore you with paragraph upon paragraph of Dante’s merits, but I will simply say this. His words are a brilliant sort of decadent honey, echoing through the ages and dripping with wisdom and philosophical meaning. And most importantly, he represents the ending flourish of a medieval renaissance that burst into bloom during the 12th century. (For the more curious, I assure you, there will be more about this at some point in the future.)

 

Oh, before I close I should probably state my history and purpose. I will make this as brief as possible. Basically back in 2007 I was a bookish undergrad history student under the mentorship of a number of brilliant Professors. For some reason they saw promise in me and said my “raw” talent could be fashioned into Oxford and Cambridge material, I swooned (not at the professors but at the prospect of Oxford and Cambridge!). I was determined to become a PhD in Medieval history and change the world with my new discoveries on an age that has been most terribly wronged. In the midst of my hasty preparations to transfer to a more promising institution that would spring me into Ivy League circles, I met a gorgeously dark and handsome man. What can I say? I crumbled and fell head over heels in love. Within four months I had kissed goodbye to a full ride scholarship to the more prestigious institution and kissed my groom hello with a heartfelt “I do.” Over a year later I was clutching a toilet seat and puking my guts out as I prepared to welcome the universe’s most adorable poop machine into the world.

 

So here I sit, the mother of an eighteen-month-old toddler, up to my elbows in stale cheerios and at my wits end because of the constant “whiff” of his defecations! Oh, but don’t get me wrong. I LOVE my life! For all that they are Oxford and Cambridge could never compare to the joy of my little boy’s kisses and the rapture of welcoming my gorgeously dark and handsome husband home with freshly baked banana bread. You see, I truly did go from Dante to diapers, but I am trying to find myself in the jumble. I am lost somewhere between Thomas Aquinas and Cistercian apocalypticism. It is a stormy sea, filled with pacifiers, skinned knees and medieval flagellants. I am trying to make sense of this wonderful crazy life, so if you dare, you are welcome to come along for the ride.